The Gestalt of Polinious

Memory

mind-trailblazers:

People talk a lot about the sharing of memory between alters. This idea of memory sharing tends to be viewed on a spectrum. Either you have a lot of memory sharing, or not much memory sharing, people seem to think.

Many people don’t realize that there are many different kinds of memory. Long-term memory (“I attend Middleton High School.”), short-term memory (“What homework do I have tonight?’) or working memory (“What did I just get up to do?”), procedural memory (“How do I solve this problem?”), declarative memory (“I went to gym class today.”), sensory memory (“It smelled terrible!”).

In our system, the different types of memory have different degrees of strength. Long-term memory usually pretty crisp, unless someone has deliberately suppressed or hidden a memory. Working memory is surprisingly well-shared, so that if a switch occurs mid-task, the task will be completed successfully more often than not. Procedural memory has almost no sharing. Declarative memory is pretty variable, and sensory memory is pretty hazy.

What do you remember?

This is definitely a good question to think about, I’ve always wondered the difference between types of memory and how each of us processes memory. I think I can only speak for myself in this matter, and my ability to remember changes largely on what’s going on or what stress I’m experiencing. 

Working memory seems to function just fine. We can move through tasks depending on preferences or motivation of the individual. There has been one individual where working memory and declarative memory was blocked and that’s Addius/Aria. She was only present for a few months, it was really frightening for me because memories typically carry on from individual to individual pretty well. 

This is something I want to do more research on and I might be able to answer it better, and come to better understand how we function among each other. 

Lee

Grounding Techniques

mentalillnessmouse:

Grounding is a technique that helps keep someone in the present. They help reorient a person to the here-and-now and in reality. Grounding skills can be helpful in a variety of situations: with dissociation symptoms; and managing overwhelming feelings or intense anxiety. They help someone to regain their mental focus from an often intensely emotional state.

Grounding skills occur within two specific approaches:

1) Sensory Awareness

2) Cognitive Awareness

Sensory Awareness Grounding Exercise #1:

Begin by tracing your hand on a piece of paper and label each finger as one of the five senses. Then take each finger and identify something special and safe representing each of those five senses. For example: Thumb represents sight and a label for sight might be butterflies or my middle finger represents the smell sense and it could be represented by lilacs. After writing and drawing all this on paper, post it on your refrigerator or other safe places in the home where it could be easily seen and memorize it. Whenever you get triggered, breathe deeply and slowly, and put your hand in front of your face where you can really see it – stare at your hand and then look at each finger and try to do the five senses exercise from memory.

Exercise #2:

• Keep your eyes open, look around the room, notice your surroundings, notice

details.

• Hold a pillow, stuffed animal or a ball.

• Place a cool cloth on your face, or hold something cool such as a can of soda.

• Listen to soothing music

• Put your feet firmly on the ground

• FOCUS on someone’s voice or a neutral conversation.

Sensory Awareness Grounding Exercise #3:

Here’s the 54321 “game”.

• Name 5 things you can see in the room with you.

• Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”)

• Name 3 things you can hear right now (“fingers tapping on keyboard” or “tv”)

• Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of)

• Name 1 good thing about yourself

Cognitive Awareness Grounding Exercise:

Reorient yourself in place and time by asking yourself some or all of these questions:

1. Where am I?

2. What is today?

3. What is the date?

4. What is the month?

5. What is the year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Source: http://www.peirsac.org/peirsacui/er/educational_resources10.pdf

theshotgunopera:

Just wanted to put this here. This is a quote from the Clinic for Dissociative Studies’ website. They are one of the leading specialists in the UK when it comes to anything to do with extreme trauma and dissociation. They’re also involved in quite a bit of research into dissociation and D.I.D

Whilst some people with DID have ‘alters’ that can communicate with each other, others can experience partial or total amnesia between personality states.  Particular events may trigger flashbacks or bring other personalities to the fore.  The results can have a devastating impact on an individual’s ability to maintain relationships and jobs and even to carry out everyday tasks.

What was that you were saying about people with DID not being able to communicate with their alters?

A day in the life - Lee

Alright so Tiny was out the other day, as some may have noticed from his greeting post. I decided to share what the experience was like for me, so that is what is going to follow.

It was both a frustrating and relieving experience. I was glad to know that Tiny was alright, and it wasn’t too awkward because he was going by the nickname that I’ve called him most. The kid’s name changes often depending on where he is in his personal time-stream as an age-slider, or depending on who he has been seeing more of. Knowing how upset he was over my censorship of him, I’ve tried to take measures to understand and respect him better. I talked to my friends and got reassurance that they would be okay if he said hi… Thanks to my own doubts and skepticism I tend to be excessively concerned about what the people around me think about the people in my head, or what they think of me because of the people in my head. 

I wasn’t surprised that Tiny took over and I think that was because for most of that day I had felt like I had no identity anyway. It wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling either, it was actually kind of peaceful. I had my own memories but they didn’t matter, I didn’t feel anything for them other than as data like anything else in my head. I think that made it easier for Tiny to surface. 

Generally we’re co-conscious or I am able to access the memories easily so the frustrating part of the experience was sitting in the background trying to get Tiny to focus on work then later realizing the things he forgot to do before leaving when our coworkers came to pick us up and take us home. Instead of focusing on work he was playing around on the internet and the phone, I got him to agree to cheat our time-sheet to reduce our hours because of how little WE had actually gotten done. Then my coworkers came to pick me up and take us home, they both know about us but Tiny was discouraged from expressing himself around one of the coworkers because they had bullied us before, and he was discouraged from the inside and from the friendlier co-worker to protect the whole…

About 20 minutes into the car-ride Tiny and I started to blur and I ended up taking most of the front while staying co-conscious. I realized that I left my lunch dishes sitting in the office, and neither Tiny or I reminded our coworkers to leave the tools and supplies at the workshop… So I’m really embarrassed to have skimped on the job, and to have left my dishes behind. It also makes me nervous that it will upset my boss despite how understanding he is. Either way, if I have to deal with it, it will have to be later. I ended up frustrated with my coworkers anyway because they frequently end up forgetting to leave the tools at the workshop and end up taking them home instead. It’s okay seeing as ‘home’ is the same home the boss lives in. However, to have to remind my coworkers to finish their job… I can’t get frustrated with Tiny for not reminding them for me, they should honestly do it for themselves. 

Tiny and I were on and off co-conscious with me at the front for the rest of the night. By the time the concert we went to actually started though, I noticed that his presence was entirely gone. Which was a little curious to me. 

So.. There you go. That’s what my day was like having someone else front and share the front.