The Gestalt of Polinious

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# - how many members are in the system(s) right now?

Always a difficult question to answer for us, especially because there are people in the system who don’t take control but every few years.

I actually have to write down the names in order to count at the moment:

Ryan, Kaz, Tiny/Sebastian/Charlie, Tiffany, Shen, Miranda, Momo, Rylee, Dawn(?), Daheen, Sprite, 20, Seraphina, Addy, Maverick, Zebidis, Alzen, Jessica, Twixt, The Triplets, Phoenix, Drageen, Nyphra…

About 24 including me. I had 17 and was about to post when I suddenly remembered more that had been active in the past few weeks.

At one time in grade-school we counted 73 names all together.

a plural meme, (un)frequently asked questions edition

celestitespires:

(if you’re uncomf with any questions, feel free to change them for yourselves!)

❉ - what kind of system(s)? (multiple, median, gateway, walk-in, combination, etc)

# - how many members are in the system(s) right now?

Δ - is there a fixed number of beings or do they change?

◐ - who is the oldest member of the system?

◑ - who’s the newest?

♫ - is there a song that’s guaranteed to make anyone(s) specific come to the front?

❀ - if beings in the system(s) are otherkn, what kintypes are they?

☍ - do any beings outside the system use it as a gateway?

✪ - are any beings in the system(s) magic-workers?

☎ - preferred methods of in-system(s) communication?

☄ - is anyone in the system(s) from space?

™ - are there fictives in the system(s)? if so, what fandom(s) / media?

❤  - what’s the newest special interest in the system(s)?

▩ - do system members have their own distinct aesthetics?

◎ - choose your own question!

have fun friends ◕‿◕

So the stress has been building up for a while between my roommate and I. About a night or two ago she started flooding my phone with calls and text messages because she thought I had stolen her PS2. While I don’t understand the confusion and why she’s convinced that it’s hers, the stress level sky-rocketed and I was on the verge of storming to my apartment to fight with her. Ryan was a little encouraging. My partner stopped me, and I decided to take the opportunity to talk to the most mentally balanced individual in our friend group about the matter. Essentially I’m going to act if there was a fire and grab everything that is essential to keep from the apartment, then figure out things from there. 

Family photos, old letters, jewelry, my trumpet, old bills, etc. 

Since this has happened though… Since I last heard from Ryan, it has been about 24 hours since I have heard from anyone at all. I can try to call out to them mentally but the responses are quiet and quick to end. This bothers me. It bothers me when they go silent and unreachable. Maybe I don’t need the stress of several other people trying to take control of the situation for me so maybe they’re being hands off. However I would appreciate the encouragement. 

Maybe they know something better than I do. Maybe they know in this mood I’ll lash out at anyone I can. Maybe.. maybe maybe maybe. 

I know they get quiet when I’m really depressed. They used to say I wasn’t listening. Now I’m listening and at least the feeling of their presence is still there, however soft and subtle. 

It just discomforts me. In the midst of everything.

-Lee

I’m not sure how I can keep doing this. 

I feel like she’s trying to force me into the hospital. 

I can’t believe this is happening. 

I don’t want to be the one that lashes out physically, she has to be the one to do it first. She’s gone off her meds. She’s controlling, she’s nuts… she doesn’t get what it means to share the house. 

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.

- Stephen Fry (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

Taking Responsibility for Your Others

By Lee. About romantic committed relationships, sexual relationships, and cheating.

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Nothing makes us as lonely as our secrets.

- Paul Tournier (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

Personal. Nerd things. How to share games with headmates. -Lee

So I play a Live Action RolePlaying game from Mind’s Eye Theater and it’s pretty fun. 

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small word on support group

Yesterday in the mental health support group that I went to, I got to listen to someone explain how they experience ‘hearing voices’ but he thinks that using the terms associated with auditory sound don’t fit. People telling him about how he’s not good enough, but no one is ‘saying’ anything and it’s not anyone in the outside world.

I could relate but I’ve been using ‘hearing’ for a long time. While it’s more just extremely loud intrusive thoughts. There are a lot of different people that go to the support group, and they are all there for each other. I have been well-welcomed so far. I’m going to play Go with some of the people there in a few weeks. There are artists, students, business owners, people down on their luck. All sorts. However I think I might be the youngest person there. 

Just wanted to share that bit that there was someone I could kind of relate to. They sympathized that it can be hard to talk about things in a new way, to talk about them honestly. That’s part of what the group is for. The support group itself surprises me because they really look out for each other. We have a phone tree of people we can call or message if we’re sliding into a really dark place, we make sure everyone has a safe ride home after group… There really is support even outside of hour 1hr 1/2 meeting once a week. 

Glad that I found it.